just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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