I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
