biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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