My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
