Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
