White coat. Heels.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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