She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
