Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
nutella sex= disaster
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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