so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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