so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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