I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
