i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize