So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
