Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
