Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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