i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
