It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
