every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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