Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
