I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
