i don't like sucking hair
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
