i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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