Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
