I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A+ Viking dick
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