Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
