Say something about gay babies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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