i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
