if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
