anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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