i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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