My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
