Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
