so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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