i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
