She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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