You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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