Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
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Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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