I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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