she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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