what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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