i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well you can't waste a boner
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it's like iHOP with fire
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
