i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
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We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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