There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had to cum in my sink.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
