I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize