I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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