How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had sex on a dog bed..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
