sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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