Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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