So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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