I wanna bring you to show and tell
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
