I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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