That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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