he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize