Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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