my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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