Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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