Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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