in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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