Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
