all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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