I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
