I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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