I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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