I bet he comes in French.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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