so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
