Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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